Grief occurs remember Father died last year. 2020 is a beautiful end to a beautiful life, there will always be memories forever. More time with dad the exception of an unending battle, especially the last 24 hours. My family and friends have turned into a merry-go-round of love. Same as pain. Nobody ever truly gets over such a terrible loss.

Daily there’s a story, a laugh with mother or the people that loved him, that makes me feel better. Singing songs, especially religious songs brings a smile to my face. It’s so important now to keep a connection to dad in life and in death. Writing on my website mostly to show interest in Evergreen Dignity Memorial. Dad’s care is now in the Everygreen cemetery.

There are times to visit my dad’s grave with flowers mostly. Pretend I work there. My blanket was left at the hospital. I stay there and pray, thank God for the beauty everywhere. Touched by dad’s struggle for life, and the guilt of not knowing his diagnosis, the past, present, and future recorded in my mind forever.

Be Careful With Dad

Dad loved birds. He called them “the boys”. It’s something I remember as young as 2 years old. Started to buy Black Sunflower Seeds as a birthday present for him as he got older. I made sure there was birdseed for our backyard birding. He loved to wake up to bird songs all year round. It was incredible how he could see the birds and knew who was there in the yard.

The heart of a missionary, he volunteered to clean glasses for the missionaries in Honduras. They were pretty messy glasses. He cleaned them up with chemicals and shined them cleans for the missions at the church. They picked up one box and brought another box of donated glasses. He loved doing it for years. The house at first smelled like vinegar and alcohol, a strong smell in our home.

The missions folks rewarded us with pictures of Honduras missions who received the glasses. They are beautiful pictures. I hope I locate that photograph to keep as a memory of dad after he retired.

It’s better for me to follow my thoughts as I write to remember my father died last year. Total devastation from what happened can not be fixed now. I just thank God and my Heavenly Father for taking him as he was. The death of dad was untimely for us. God’s ways are not my ways. My ways are not the ways of my father’s death. That’s how I understand the tribute to my Father.